Interrupted Movements of the Flow of Love between Parents and Children
The concept of “interrupted movement” is used to describe the most recurrent question that is presented to us in the Constellations: the interruption of the flow of Love between parents and children.
This means the reduction of living, of being present in the connection with others, in the affective bonds and in our personal power.
When signs of “interrupted movement” appear, relationships are the theater of its main expression.
The cut is established when the primary feelings of the child (primary emotional impulses towards the parents) find indifference, absence, contempt or aggression. Pain in this early moment in life can not be absorbed and metabolized by the infantile psyche, it then grabs and loses contact with its innate ability to BE.
The inner cut is with your true Self. This is the most common “trauma.” And with them we walk through life, without realizing in the areas that our traumas of the past invalidate us to be stuck to patterns of repetition of our pains. We take them to all our relationships and we search at the wrong time and place, which we do not take from our parents. One affection does not replace another in our heart.
In partnerships, the relationship between adults is based on balanced exchange equality and sexuality. It makes people need to give up childhood and the position of dependency. When one has not taken from the parents, large in the order of hierarchy, and one expects to take from that which is our equivalent, the partner. He or she can not give what he has to give, because despite giving everything and loving fully, it is our partner, needs to walk and be with us. We will not find what we seek, the fulfillment unsatisfied.
This psychic condition incapacitates us to realize ourselves in partnerships, as whole and incomplete adults who seek to unite by loving force to another adult in himself more incomplete. Not overcoming these illusory expectations of our childhood is the cause of most couples separations.
The problem is aggravated when children are expected to undergo a hierarchical inversion in the expectation that these children will meet the affective needs. There is emotional blackmail. In a special way one has the expectations that these children fill the void. It may happen that some of these children sacrifice their lives for blind love, and they become entangled with intensity and can not fulfill their destinies. Other children, the pressure of autonomy pushes them so much that they flee in the unrest of a forced autonomy, and are obliged not to take leaving in life with an overload and not being sufficiently nourished for their Way.
What can help?
It helps through a true desire to be free and happy, with courage, to take our parents as they are and to commit to the surrender of accepting and overcoming the infatuation received, the physical and psychological damages.
It helps to take on the suffering, coming out of the complaint, and turning into real people who create our destiny in accordance with the destiny we receive. The only medicine is the inclusion and opening of the heart, so that the past that ties, stays in the past and is transcended.
It helps to work systemically, for example, in the Thematic Meeting: The Art of Relating.