Father’s Day! How to celebrate different?
Soon we will be celebrating Father’s Day. What does this date mean to us? Some no longer have their father, either because he passed away, or for whatever reason biography.
Those who still have the opportunity to celebrate with them this day are often not without judgment or recrimination against their parents, including our mother here.
We have many resistances to free our parents from our moral conscience, that part of our self that does not accept their imperfections, does not receive them, and does not accept them as they are. We rob our parents according to our ideals of what would be expected of them. Sadly, in Life what we reject belongs to us and we will find.
It will open like a mirror, which will make us see that what we reject so much in our parents will be in us recreating ourselves. Will what we condemn and despise most in our parents reproduce in us? Will it appear in our relationships, and specifically in our most important bonds, partnerships, and children? Such as: distancing, coldness, authoritarianism and omission?
The famous phrase that hits us hard and calls our conscience: “You look like your father.” Is that what you are repeating in us? What I reject or exclude haunts me. That’s how it works! That which brought us suffering in bonding with our parents will unconsciously repeat in my most expensive relationships.
What is the meaning of this mechanism in us? This is where I invite you to reflect more deeply on this date. I would like to reflect with you with a “systemic look”.
Our parents, despite their human imperfections, were put by Life to realize our conception. We came brought by the force of their union. Whether they stayed together for a moment or for a lifetime. We carry fifty percent of the genetics of this man who was our biological father. If he has outsourced paternity, and another has taken his place, we cannot nullify that we are bound to him in our DNA.
We carry within us the physical genetics as well as the synthesis of the psychic charge, the memories of the ancestors that preceded it.
We cannot reject this burden, regardless of our questioning it. Non-acceptance condemns us to try to escape or repeat it. We get stuck in the “non-acceptance” of the fifty percent of the Life Force in us. So we get weak.
It is worth explaining here that there is a difference between relationships and bonds. We may not be “related” to our biological parents, but we are bound by birth to our family systems.
We may have replaced parents who have brought us a good parenting experience, but the burden of the life force that has given us birth is present in us. Accepting and taking this strength is the greatest gift we can offer. It is the real celebration of life! And it’s totally up to us.
In rejection, we repeat without knowing how to control.
In accepting our origin, we are reconciled to this life force that has generated us and become stronger.
An almost magical concept in relation to our origins: RECONCILIATION. By exercising this proposal, we are able to access the feeling of “gratitude” for being here and receiving LIFE and our ORIGIN as it happened.
A deep peace settles within us. We put together what we rejected and idealized to exclude from us. My invitation to those who are not at peace with their parents is this: “Focus on the light side of the force that he (your father) and his system (ancestors) have bequeathed to you and thank you.” Beside shadow, which is usually painful, given to him (his father), respecting human and imperfect destinies, recognizing imperfection in itself.
To help you, in this celebration of LIFE, I transcribe below, step by step, a Systemic Exercise. It can be done regardless of whether your Father exists or relates to you:
1. Choose a quiet place to stay for approximately 5 minutes, which may be sufficient.
2. If you have a picture of your father, look at it for a few seconds and accept whatever comes from feelings and thoughts.
3. Breathe deeply while doing the exercise.
4. Notice your body, the tensions and the flow, keep your attention on both feelings, thoughts, breath and body.
5. Close your eyes and let the image of your father come to you. If you have no picture or image, feel it as an energy field or force and memory as well.
6. Feel “What did he miss?” This is important, look at your little father, in front of his parents. He lacked: father, mother, affection, support, restraint, care.
7. Let him receive what he has missed and keep an eye out for his breath and body.
8. When this “picture” is over let your father now look at you.
9. See if you can recognize it and say, Dad, I’m your child and in a way I’m just like you. I now see you and respect your destiny. I receive the Life force from you and I will do something good in my life with that force.
10. Feel it soothing you inside.
11. And mentally rotate yourself 180 degrees when you feel it is sufficient, directing your life into the future and leaving the past behind, leaving your Father as a support behind your back.
12. If you have children, look to them with love and say to them: I give the power of Life to you with my love rescued by my father, now in my heart. The past is behind us!
13. If you have no children, put in your place your life-long, affective accomplishments with your most mature male, your professional in your creations and business.
To take the strength that comes from our father is to be able to be fulfilled in the world, successful in our lives and in our profession.
Regardless of your father’s personality, the Life he has given you is a wonderful gift to take!
This is the best celebration!
Good job for those who are excited to do so!