The Challenged Curator

Bert Hellinger, the creator and father of the Family Constellations, presents us in the development of his vast Work with what he calls: the Orders of Help.

Among all the concepts of his work, this is perhaps what most guides us ethically in the profession of helping, and specifically in healing, when someone demands us help to find the ways of healing within.

It is always a great challenge of humility for our Egos of helpers, for our tendency to take on the role of saviors is immediate.

The way to help someone who is between life and death, requires of those who help, Bert guides us, an attitude of respect and reverence for the destiny of the other and a deep harmony with greater forces.

In the distortion of the role of “savior” in a healer, where his Ego flourishes, dwells the greatest of dangers, the arrogance of being above universal laws, an abusive superiority, which is a symptom of excessive and created pride, most of the time , by self-devaluation.

Therefore, in order for our help to be safe and reliable, the “healer” must sine qua non to undergo a profound transformation in itself.

Without this self-healing work it will be difficult to respect what is necessary, possible, and benevolent toward the other.

The profession of help requires an inner centering conquered through this profound transformation, a detachment from infantile desires and needs in relation to others and an acceptance by duality (light and shadows), which as human beings we manifest. To see in us the duality, to become aware of it, diminish the strength of this negativity (evil) in half.

If we do not even become aware of the evil within us to transform, it takes us! And consequently it exerts its effects upon those who seek us.

In the Sistêmica do Coração Training, in a first phase, an intensive process of transformation is sought before working and exercising with healing techniques. This procedure enhances and calls for the self-responsibility of the helper’s self-healing.

In our current level of Planetary Consciousness, let’s say unconsciousness, we are very vulnerable to our shadows yet.

One possible safeguard is to recognize the evil perpetuated in us and recreated in our biography and in our systems of origin and our productions of help.

The people who come to us, challenge us to mirror what we need to transform.

I do not intend with this reflection, to moralize, but to understand without judgment and with intense acceptance the ETHICAL proposal that the profession of healing matches, whether we are psychotherapists, constellators, body and energy therapists, counselors, healers, mediums, practitioners of healing techniques, etc. Our first and primary cure is with us! And it all starts in a YES the way I am today, with my duality. The beginning of this acceptance of me, of self-love, is the solid foundation for loving and respecting the other in their difference.

Phrases like “LOVE THE NEXT LIKE IT! I and OTHERS ARE ONE. “, Guide the action of the healer, when this brings the harmony and peace of all involved.

Given the experiences we are experiencing, we embrace the paths by which truth reveals itself in the acts of our labors, in every success and failure we learn to take one more step towards the perfection aimed at, from our humble acknowledged imperfection.


Graciela Rozenthal